Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Nimebamba msg za mapenzi kutoka kwa Ex ?-Ushauri

"Hey there sis,
Hope ya doing fine with ya great work that ya doing of advicing us people who are confused with these love affairs.

Am a girl 23yrs old, now I have a boyfriend whom we have kinda long relationship we have been together for a year now. But what gives me headache is his Ex girfriend. Last week when I was at his place I tried to send a msg by using his phone i was so saprised when he rushed into me and took the phone by force without even know what i wanted it for.

Sis dinah thats is what gave me suspecious of what can be in that phone so after a while I pretented to go to a waah room and took his phone with me when I opened the inbox I found alot of msgs from his EX I was so heartbroked and i couldn't ask him nothing since he didnt know I took his phone.

The msg where like they are still love eachother and they wanna ge back together I really wanted to ask him but i was so afraid so I decided to just ask and if they would be I would just sufer the consequences.

So I ask him and what he told me is that the girl wants him back but he doesn't want to go back to her that's why there are msgs in his phone and he didn't want me to see them coz he didn't want me to suffer.

Should I truest him or he just lieing to me to get me out the way?He said if I didnt trust him we can call the girl and ask her. But i can't do that coz I will seem to be unsecured of his love.What can I really do my dear I do still love him and I did trust him B4 the msgz.

Thanks Dinah and may good bless u with all the gratfull of the world"

Jawabu:Hello, I'm so proud of you to stand up firm and ask him, it's your right. Pole sana kwa mkasa uliokukuta, how long have been togother? When relationship started....was is soon after he broke up with his ex?

When people who love eachother broke up they need (wait)at least six month or more before seeing anyone else, if his ex is still single right now that obviously she hopes that they will get together again.

There are two things I would like you to know; First, many ex's are still in love with their ex's and yet they move on and learn to love another just as much if not more. They only get over their ex's when you love them more ( you need to know why they split up though, so you can cover those areas). Even if your boyfriend still loves his ex for now it does not mean that he doesn't love you but the thing is that, he can't move forward and get beyond his feelings for his ex.

Second, We (women, wenye hulka) normaly we wait hata kama we know it's over for good we'll wait few months before we feel ready to get to another relatioship, but men tend to move on so quickly to so if this boy was with you to get through his pain (depends on how they broke up)then there is a high risk that he will return to her, since they are in contact. Sad but true.

He said to you that his ex is pursuing him to get back together but he doesn't want to, so why didn't he explain that when he grabed his phone from you by force? I dont think this man was telling you the truth. Trust him, Not.

Nini cha kufanya(1)-Find the ex's number then ask directly if she is still interested and going to try to get him back if she admits that she wants this man back then let the man go. He is not worth fighting over kwani you can't compete with an ex if one is still in love with the other. You would be fighting a losing battle. Just get on with your life untill you meet someone who doesn't have feelings for his ex.

What 2 do (2)-If she doesn't want him back then weka some rules in your relationship,....


Anonymous said...

U know what baby u r still young and pretty so be careful with mens,
i think the best way is to talk with him cos may be he is still in love with her X and if u wont be careful he will damp u and get back to her x,mens always they dont tell the truth,even though there are truthfuly mens
so take care

Anonymous said...

Dada Dina i think i need kuanzisha blog yangu itakayo husu man101 course. Mimi ni mwanaume, na one of the fish activity ni mwanaume kuwasiliana na ex wake. You either like or not there is no normal friendship between two people who once saw each other naked.

Ushauri wangu wa ni kwamba, put your case open kwa huyo bwana. You have nothing to loose wewe ni 23 years old, believe me you do have a long way to go. Nimapema sana kwa wewe kuwa victim wa abusive relationship. Mkalishe kiti moto huyo BF wako, mwambie kwamba you don't appriciate mawasiliano baina ya wawili hao, nakwamba kuanzia leo he need to make a clear choice, either anaendelea na wewe, or ana keep up na ex. Akisema fine anaendelea na wewe then una impose new strong rules, moja wapo ni transparance ie hakuna kunyimana simu, however sikushauri uwe nose kuchungulia kila kitu kwenye simu yake. Bali mwambie kwamba unaona ni muhimu kuwa na freedom ya kutumia simu zenu bila vikwazo kwani itachangia sana wewe na yeye kuwa na heshima.

Anonymous said...

Hey poor girl.
I really feel sorry for what you are facing. To be honest with you, the guy is still in love with his EX. Whatever advice I will give you today, but you have to stand on your own. What if we advice you to keep on loving him and yet he is still cheating on you. Girl.. Be Yourself.And follow your heart. If your love is there keep loving and forgive whatever....
Wishing you lucky,

Anonymous said...

She is not the ex-girl friend but she is the current girl friend. You are interfering their relationship. I would advice you to quite and look for another boy friend. By the way i'm single if you don't mind please come to me.

Anonymous said...

Huyo pf is cheating on u with his ex. Kama angekuwa mkweli asingeichukua simu kwa nguvu angekuwa relaxed akijua analakujitetea na utetezi wake ni kweli tupu.

Wewe bado mdogo sana kuanza kuchanganywa na wanaume wajinga wasiojua thamani yamwanamke. Achana nae tulizana na utampata mwingine ambae hana mpango wa kurudia matapishi.

JayJay said...

Nakubaliana na mchangiaji wa kwanza usipokuwa muangalifu atakutema na utaumia zaidi hivyo ni heri ujitoe mwenyewe kwa vile tayari unaushahidi your boyfriend is still in love with his ex. Toka nduki mdogo wangu.

Anonymous said...

we bado mdogo sana,wala huyu dume asikutese moyo wako,sasa kama huyo x anamtaka warudiane kwaninibado anakeep msg,kuna hila hapo.mwambie hivi hivi bf naona uhusiano wetu hautukuwa na uaminifu hivyo mi natoka.kama anakupenda atakulilia kweli kama anaona sawa tuu,atarudi kwa x wake.

Anonymous said...

mwache huyo mdogo wangu,hakufai

Anonymous said...

Hey Girl, Niko kinyume na wote waliochangia hapo juu. You are under fire Mrembo!! Let me put it in this way:

Are you aware that you are the one who spoiled the relationship of these two partners??? exit from being a blackout girl.

If you get that wrong, you're pretty much out of luck, but if you get that right, weldone!

You claim,"what can I really do my dear i do love him" wow poor girl!! Don't you know that she/they loved him before you?? crazy talk!!!

Girls, please be a well planned oriented otherwise you will end up with severe frustartions. So poor girl, take charge as far as things are getting upside down.Got it?The ball is in your court.

For the guy to get back to his X gf it is right, and for your information they did not break their relationship at all, except you poor girl intervene their relationship, and then you are the first complainer, wow! DUNIA NI MVIRINGO INAJIZUNGUSHA YENYEWE KATIKA MHIMILI WAKE!!!Usidandie wanaume ovyo.Unakimbilia wapi na mambo ya Uboyfriend?? halafu unalia haraka?Yaoge maana umeyavulia nguo.

Anonymous said...

anony hapo juu.,WELL SAID...u deserve a clap!baby cakez move on cnt u c u intervened their r`ship?those guys werent over, he must hav been taking advantage of u yani kipoza roho ila mapenzi kwa the so called X,wewe spare tyre so if ur wise enuf u`d bounce tena haraka sana!

Anonymous said...

Am different from most of the wachangiaji, dont quit as long as upo sure anakupenda. My dear kupata mwanaume ambae hajawah kuwa na girlfriend at your AGE NI MIRACLE. Fight mdogo wangu. Mpende, muheshimu na pendeza, atakupenda tu. Bt be open to him kwamba hupendi mawasiliano anayofanya na x wake. Wanaume wengi huwa wanahitaji muda kustop kabisa mawasiliano na x wao, though haimaanishi anataka kurudiana nae au anarshp nae tena. Muombe Mungu pia, atakusaidia.

lisa.. said...

anonymous at 10:04:00 AM,pls stop decivin e poor girl,yeah u cn nvr find a guy ambaye hajawahi kuwa na galfrnd ila kama walibreak up i dun thnk if der shuld b a reason kwa wao kuendelea kuchat,as one of e previous commenter said "You either like or not there is no normal friendship between two people who once saw each other naked"!!!tokin bout fighting fo him damn gal u so wrong i believe u fight wen u both love each othr n happens to b lit probs in a rlshp der yu cn sae we fightin fo our love n nt othrwise... ders nuthin like fightin wen t cumz to a relationship whr one love e othr n the othr doesnt actually love yu bck n worse kip contactn der ex's...

advicin her kumpenda, kumheshimu na kupendeza kuwa doz wil b reasons fo him to love her mmmmh i dun buy that..one thing yu dun knoe bout men "if dey dun love yu ders nuthin dat cn mek em stay or stick or love yu, ds creatures r totally different frm us..tek it frm me!!

babes, jus pack yo things n go, run away n never luk back cz dat guy doznt luv u, if thoz messages meant nuthin to him, he wuldnt've grabbed hs fon frm yu in e first plec n y z he stil kipin em..n dat excuse he gave yu(my ex gal want me bck bt i dun)plssssss nvr evr tek it cz dats a TOTALLY LIE..it wuld've sound sincere if he had let yu or explain e situation wae before you caught the messages!.i believe yu got potentials n der so much better guys out der!!!